I have a confession to make: I suffer from Gig Guilt.
I got both of my degrees in performance, so most of my peers are performers. As a teaching specialist, I am in the minority among the musicians I know. I look at their websites with their calendars of upcoming gigs and I feel like I'm not as advanced in my career as they are. I sometimes feel like my worth is measured in the amount of time I spend playing recitals and that any other pursuit just isn't quite as valid.
But this is far from the truth. The music community deserves to have teachers who are as passionate about education as performers are about their solo careers. If teaching is viewed as nothing more than a resume filler for aspiring performers, or as something to do here and there between concert tours, then the quality of performers will suffer in generations to come because they never had a truly invested mentor. Students can tell if their teachers don't care.
We are raised to believe that choice brings power, and this is absolutely true. However, dabbling in many careers for fear of choosing one is a disservice to everyone involved. An unwilling teacher can do years of lasting damage. An uninterested and uninformed performer does no justice to the music they play.
It's OK not to know what your specialty is before or during music school. Helping you figure out your niche is part of what higher education is all about. It might not even become obvious to you what your calling is within the first few years after graduation. The typhoon of student loan debt, life change, and frantic job hunting is quite efficient at drowning out the small voice inside you that tells you what you should be doing with your life. You'll find yourself pacing back and forth in front of the different doors you can walk through: performer, teacher, composer, writer, abandoning music for something else entirely. Each of your interests pulls you in a different direction, so choosing something to focus on can be paralyzing.
It can take years after graduating from music school, but there will come a time when you have to choose a door to walk through. If you want to be truly great at something, you'll have to decide which skill holds the most value in your mind and make that your specialty. This doesn't mean you let go of all the other parts of you; if you decide to make composition your focus, you can still perform and teach and write, but composing gets the lion's share of your energy. This is the only way you get really, really good at something.
Ultimately, it comes down to whether you have passion for what you do. There's nothing wrong with having a multifaceted career; in fact, it's becoming more necessary than ever. But doing poor quality work benefits no one.
So don't let the guilt of what you "should" be doing get you down. Assuming you're taking care of your responsibilities and you aren't hurting anyone, go ahead and do what you believe in.